Sunday, September 23, 2012

Why Does God Hate Me?

Why Does  God Hate Me?

            After 2 years of marriage, Mary and her husband wanted to start a family.  The next two years brought four more miscarriages and an almost unbearable sadness to Mary.  She and her husband never spoke of the loss.  Her husband became too busy to talk.

Mary’s sadness threw her to the floor when she realized she had no one could help her or understand her sadness.  Doctors offered pills, friends offered sympathy and family ignored the obvious. There was no joy in life when one bears a desire so strong it burns a hole in the spirit.   When she turned to God it seemed He was silent or non-existent. Then one day in a flash of anger Mary prayed, “God if this is your abundant life, I don’t want it anymore.”  Then Mary packed her bags and left her husband amidst rumors of her being mentally ill.  The truth about Mary was that she had lost her dream of being a wife and mother.  At age twenty-six her life was over and she had accomplished nothing.

As a child and a teen Mary had felt great love for the Lord, He had brought her through many of life’s trials and she knew in her heart He was real.  But now she began to question.  Alone, broke, no marketable skills, overwhelmed by mental and physical exhaustion plus the silence of the Lord she had always trusted;  hopelessness entered her heart.  Mary just wanted to go away, not die, just go away where there was no hurt.   She asked the question, “God, why do you hate me so much?  All I ever wanted to do was be obedient to you and you have taken away the ability for me to “be fruitful and multiply.”   That was the last prayer Mary said before she faded into the darkness of anonymity in a large city.

The question asked by most of us at one time or another in life is the same, either ‘why is God mad at me or why does He hate me?’  But this question alone gives its own answer.  The question is about ourselves.  Even the Psalmist said it in Psalms 102:9.  For I have eaten ashes like bread And mingled my drink with weeping  Because of Your indignation and Your wrath,
For You have lifted me up and cast me away.  My days are like a lengthened shadow, And I wither away like grass.
            The poetic  beauty reveals the distraught heart that feels as though God has abandoned him.  Why do these feeling occur?

1.      Life’s trials Life is filled with trials for every person, but James says to count it joy to fall into these trials because they will lead us to completeness so that we are lacking in nothing.  In other words to have everything we must first have the trials.  We cannot gain understanding without the trial

2.      Focus on Self By becoming absorbed in our pain we miss the blessing that is to come, Our focus is on our own sufferings and our needs becomes the sympathy of others in order to justify our suffering.  In this case we become double-minded, we want God to fix our problem while at the same time we bask in the sympathy of others.  It is a troubling place to be.

3.      Expectations In 1 John 5:19 it says that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.  If the world belongs to the devil, he will set our expectations on the things of the world to keep our hearts away from God.  The world promises us a good life filled with all the desires of our heart which are mostly relational or monetary.  We expect to be rich and loved or at least some form of it.

4.      Life is hard- While we suffer in our trials we compare ourselves to others who seem to have an easy life and we want that life.  But we do not know their trials.  When we gaze upon the Christian wholly dedicated to Christ true peace and contentment is seen. The question becomes how to obtain that contentment with our own circumstances.

5.      Christ is the answer He said, “If I be lifted up I will draw all men to me. (John 12:32) the verse previous to that says, “Judgment is upon this world. . .the ruler of this world will be cast out.”   He was referring to His death on the cross which would conquer the power of the devil that is death. (Hebrew 2:14).  Death occurs when we lose hope or we focus on self, because we lose sight of the person of Jesus Christ.  When we lose that focus we judge God by the actions of the evil one. 

6.      God’s call can be heard the best in the midst of pain – C.S. Lewis said that pain was God’s megaphone to get our attention.  It is in the middle of insurmountable suffering and hopelessness that God is calling to us the loudest.  God has an answer for each of us in our own set of circumstances.  It is a supernatural answer and cannot be found in a natural world that is controlled by the evil one.

Change – is not always what we think it will be.  We may be wishing for healing or restoration of wealth or a relationship while God sees our healing as enduring through the pain and drawing closer to him in that pain.  The trial is given to us for our perfection in Christ in whom we will be complete.  Without the pain of the trial we miss the greatest blessing on earth.  The solution is to turn our eyes upon Jesus. 

The answer if found in the wounds of Jesus. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,  and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross , so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 1 Peter 2:21-24 (NASB)
Even Christ had to keep His eyes on the Father in order to endure His trial.

            As Mary sat down at the table to discuss matters of work, she was introduced to the people at the table, one of them a godly man. Two years later he became her husband and she was granted four children.  She never took her eyes off Jesus throughout her trials.

Thanks to Judith Vass photography for the beautiful artwork

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