tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56451533706908101732024-03-14T02:19:28.335-07:00Choose the Good PartDeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-29337119093478192312012-09-23T13:31:00.000-07:002012-09-23T13:31:37.447-07:00Why Does God Hate Me?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Why Does God Hate Me?</h1>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6C4qk4WyDgb-_nba1fPdOBYXPr4enINcYwRdG1OHQuVVRgyIZDbAdkTlgVMTzUwmZAMbLvjWwLqNas4PPixZPjOepWK0eSrnJDUQiHR_dPjOJ8aJAQ5PgDxsK5RIJy8iHVVTctYvHW7U/s1600/cockle+burrs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6C4qk4WyDgb-_nba1fPdOBYXPr4enINcYwRdG1OHQuVVRgyIZDbAdkTlgVMTzUwmZAMbLvjWwLqNas4PPixZPjOepWK0eSrnJDUQiHR_dPjOJ8aJAQ5PgDxsK5RIJy8iHVVTctYvHW7U/s200/cockle+burrs.jpg" width="132" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> After
2 years of marriage, Mary and her husband wanted to start a family. The next two years brought four more
miscarriages and an almost unbearable sadness to Mary. She and her husband never spoke of the
loss. Her husband became too busy to
talk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mary’s sadness threw her
to the floor when she realized she had no one could help her or understand her
sadness. Doctors offered pills, friends
offered sympathy and family ignored the obvious. There was no joy in life when
one bears a desire so strong it burns a hole in the spirit. When she turned to God it seemed He was
silent or non-existent. Then one day in a flash of anger Mary prayed, “God if
this is your abundant life, I don’t want it anymore.” Then Mary packed her bags and left her
husband amidst rumors of her being mentally ill. The truth about Mary was that she had lost her
dream of being a wife and mother. At age
twenty-six her life was over and she had accomplished nothing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As a child and a teen
Mary had felt great love for the Lord, He had brought her through many of life’s
trials and she knew in her heart He was real.
But now she began to question.
Alone, broke, no marketable skills, overwhelmed by mental and physical
exhaustion plus the silence of the Lord she had always trusted; hopelessness entered her heart. Mary just wanted to go away, not die, just go
away where there was no hurt. She asked
the question, “God, why do you hate me so much?
All I ever wanted to do was be obedient to you and you have taken away
the ability for me to “be fruitful and multiply.” That was the last prayer Mary said before
she faded into the darkness of anonymity in a large city.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The question asked by most of us at one time or
another in life is the same, either ‘why is God mad at me or why does He hate
me?’ But this question alone gives its
own answer. The question is about
ourselves. Even the Psalmist said it in
Psalms 102:9. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <i>For I have eaten ashes like bread And
mingled my drink with weeping Because of Your indignation and Your wrath,
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For You have lifted me up and cast me away. My days are like a lengthened
shadow, And I wither away like grass.</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> The poetic beauty reveals the distraught heart that
feels as though God has abandoned him.
Why do these feeling occur?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIRouxPQO4Xf6Jnj7grLdCNedLxxqVmxCOPmAaZDEjuOIosDDIciZxqy_6Ts5MrOYw9mEeyfGN0B6NTED6KTlIrvdJMtarbATyH-faIM5Ot2XwUCTPWrpGXuXz8OwWdSucHp0qbjF4-4Y/s1600/umbrella.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIRouxPQO4Xf6Jnj7grLdCNedLxxqVmxCOPmAaZDEjuOIosDDIciZxqy_6Ts5MrOYw9mEeyfGN0B6NTED6KTlIrvdJMtarbATyH-faIM5Ot2XwUCTPWrpGXuXz8OwWdSucHp0qbjF4-4Y/s1600/umbrella.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> <b> </b></span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Life’s
trials </b>–</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Life is
filled with trials for every person, but James says to count it joy to fall
into these trials because they will lead us to completeness so that we are
lacking in nothing. In other words to
have everything we must first have the trials.
We cannot gain understanding without the trial<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> <b> </b></span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Focus
on Self </b>–</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> By
becoming absorbed in our pain we miss the blessing that is to come, Our focus is
on our own sufferings and our needs becomes the sympathy of others in order to
justify our suffering. In this case we
become double-minded, we want God to fix our problem while at the same time we
bask in the sympathy of others. It is a
troubling place to be.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> <b> </b></span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Expectations
</b>–</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> In 1 John 5:19 it says that the
whole world lies in the power of the evil one.
If the world belongs to the devil, he will set our expectations on the
things of the world to keep our hearts away from God. The world promises us a good life filled with
all the desires of our heart which are mostly relational or monetary. We expect to be rich and loved or at least
some form of it.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> <b> </b></span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Life
is hard-</b></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> While we
suffer in our trials we compare ourselves to others who seem to have an easy
life and we want that life. But we do
not know their trials. When we gaze upon
the Christian wholly dedicated to Christ true peace and contentment is seen.
The question becomes how to obtain that contentment with our own circumstances.
<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> <b> </b></span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Christ
is the answer </b>–</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
He said, “If I be lifted up I will draw all men to me. (John 12:32) the verse
previous to that says, “Judgment is upon this world. . .the ruler of this world
will be cast out.” <i> </i>He was referring to His
death on the cross which would conquer the power of the devil that is death.
(Hebrew 2:14). Death occurs when we lose
hope or we focus on self, because we lose sight of the person of Jesus
Christ. When we lose that focus we judge
God by the actions of the evil one. <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqNCuskr5viK8xgn_BP402w7Zp7jWPeEgUTgywV_FE0M_R7yw9fwiBvS16_GTvFoGQ473cCc12ld52BUkPgpLxuNkb74egXA0y34yDFju3X3gmlUSEiAjU4_tAB4rFZqw3GYb09_pMTVA/s1600/the+light+among+you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqNCuskr5viK8xgn_BP402w7Zp7jWPeEgUTgywV_FE0M_R7yw9fwiBvS16_GTvFoGQ473cCc12ld52BUkPgpLxuNkb74egXA0y34yDFju3X3gmlUSEiAjU4_tAB4rFZqw3GYb09_pMTVA/s400/the+light+among+you.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">6.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>God’s
call can be heard the best in the midst of pain</b></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> – C.S. Lewis said that pain was
God’s megaphone to get our attention. It
is in the middle of insurmountable suffering and hopelessness that God is
calling to us the loudest. God has an
answer for each of us in our own set of circumstances. It is a supernatural answer and cannot be
found in a natural world that is controlled by the evil one.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Change –</b></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is not always what we think it will
be. We may be wishing for healing or
restoration of wealth or a relationship while God sees our healing as enduring
through the pain and drawing closer to him in that pain. The trial is given to us for our perfection
in Christ in whom we will be complete.
Without the pain of the trial we miss the greatest blessing on
earth. The solution is to turn our eyes
upon Jesus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The answer
if found in the wounds of Jesus. <i>For you
have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving
you an example for you to follow in His steps, and while being reviled,
He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept <b>entrusting Himself to Him</b> who judges righteously; and He Himself
bore our sins in His body on the cross , so that we might die to sin and live
to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. </i>1 Peter 2:21-24 (NASB)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even
Christ had to keep His eyes on the Father in order to endure His trial.<i> </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> As Mary sat down at the table to
discuss matters of work, she was introduced to the people at the table, one of
them a godly man. Two years later he became her husband and she was granted four
children. She never took her eyes off Jesus
throughout her trials.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Thanks to Judith Vass photography for the beautiful artwork</span></span></div>
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Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-69728366565112002652012-01-20T13:40:00.000-08:002012-01-20T13:41:55.863-08:00The Mykytiuk Files: A Lynette kind of day.. er, week.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> A Guest Post <a href="http://themykytiukfiles.blogspot.com/2012/01/lynett-kind-of-day-er-week.html?spref=bl">The Mykytiuk Files: A Lynette kind of day.. er, week.</a>: My husband was working for a friend of mine once, and she told him, "Amy always has it together." Ha! Hardly. Seriously. I have it all...</div>Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-7033487490211217772011-08-06T11:45:00.000-07:002011-08-06T11:45:57.036-07:00Managing Children and Technology<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
More than thirty years ago I read a book where the word pictures painted in it were grossly pornographic. Yet, I read the whole book, I couldn’t put it down. When I turned the last page, it directed me to the next book in the trilogy. I wanted that book so bad I avoided secular bookstores for the next five years. I burned the book before I threw it in the trash for fear of someone inadvertently getting the material, especially a child. <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWzCQVxlmt3QhvDoMOX60JdtgFiiXvJjpXORyVtcEOkZ4tqKxbPpyQlbtAF6gDpy9I1SS8WTYoMpqOXLEgJewORL0zHXsgZEtkGxsYq-tT9eK34QXxUxKC5R_3VbxmTjYbqoI0IqqKGjo/s1600/surprised+tenn.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWzCQVxlmt3QhvDoMOX60JdtgFiiXvJjpXORyVtcEOkZ4tqKxbPpyQlbtAF6gDpy9I1SS8WTYoMpqOXLEgJewORL0zHXsgZEtkGxsYq-tT9eK34QXxUxKC5R_3VbxmTjYbqoI0IqqKGjo/s1600/surprised+tenn.bmp" t$="true" /></a></div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="183">Today, many of those pornographic images still pop up into my mental movie theatre at the oddest times. AND this was a printed page and I was an adult. Now imagine what an inadvertent vivid picture delivered into one’s computer or iphone screen does to the mind of a young child. This is truly a parent’s nightmare. Those vivid images of gross perversion stay in the mind long after the viewing.</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="131"><br />
</div>In this blog the view of God as the parent provides some practical actions that parents can take to protect their children from this horrendous event. God was bringing his young child, the Hebrew nation, out of Egyptian captivity and leading them to their homeland. It is in a simple story found in Exodus 16 that God’s methods can be applied to today’s technology parenting problems. <br />
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</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="132"><strong>1. Children Grumble</strong> - <em>The whole congregation of the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. The sons of Israel said to them, "Would that we had died by the LORD'S hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat , when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger</em>." Ex 16:2-3 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="142"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="148">Children have a unique way of taking a simple event and turning it into a life threatening case against the parents. The complaints are directed at the parent to make them “feel sorry” for the plight of the child when the child does not like the parental control or expectations. In reality they are testing their boundaries with their parents or they are attempting a manipulation technique to get what they want. The Children of Israel complained about something as foolish as food and expressed a desire to go back into slavery to have that food. Just as the Hebrews equated slavery with satisfying the desires of their heart so it is with a child. The Hebrew children did not yet know freedom and only remembered slavery just as a child does not yet know the responsibilities of adulthood but rather only the boundaries of childhood.</div><br />
Children desire the comfort and pleasure of the tactile things around them. Technology has grown to become both a safety device for parents and a peer pressure desired toy for children. Problems arise when children are given technology that operates beyond their comprehension of its capabilities allowing them to be inadvertently exposed to gross images or text. <br />
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</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="149"><strong>2. Answer the Grumblings With Instruction</strong></div><br />
<div closure_uid_kqqm5="151"><em>Then the LORD said to Moses, "Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in My instruction</em>[ Ex 16:4 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="154"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq2I-Ceyl24jwhCW4aIkBAqBnhDzABT1tfO0hKlVryMpr7CSflCkBo5jxU1CAUUXNB5pkDJZ_nt-vdnfxgrbC2gDSe8fUJburHJHiU0GcEzEM3Ljcj0TWbyt-YGjkaaUsOfMPKAVtWtCQ/s1600/parents+with+computer+and+children.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq2I-Ceyl24jwhCW4aIkBAqBnhDzABT1tfO0hKlVryMpr7CSflCkBo5jxU1CAUUXNB5pkDJZ_nt-vdnfxgrbC2gDSe8fUJburHJHiU0GcEzEM3Ljcj0TWbyt-YGjkaaUsOfMPKAVtWtCQ/s1600/parents+with+computer+and+children.jpg" t$="true" /></a></div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="217">Parents may desire to give their children an electronic device for safety or as a toy. However, the toy should be comparable to their age of accountability. In other words, children will not be accountable for their actions; they may find the porn inadvertently and then begin to actively seek it because they do not have the ability to discern. God knew His children did not want to return to slavery so He tested them to help them discern what they really wanted. They complained about food so He used food to test them by giving them what they asked for with explicit instructions. If a child can follow the instructions given, then he is capable of handling a greater amount of self-governing and decision making skills. </div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="155"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="156"><strong>The Instructions- </strong></div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="158"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="157"><em>at evening the quails came and covered the camp, . . .. When the layer of dew evaporated . . .there was a fine flake-like thing, fine as the frost on the ground. When the sons of Israel saw it, they said to one another, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, "It is the bread which the LORD has given you to eat. "This is what the LORD has commanded, 'Gather of it every man as much as he should eat; you shall take an omer apiece according to the number of persons each of you has in his tent.' " The sons of Israel did so, and some gathered much and some little. When they measured it with an omer, he who had gathered much had no excess, and he who had gathered little had no lack; every man gathered as much as he should eat. Moses said to them, "Let no man leave any of it until morning</em>." Ex 16:13-19 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="159"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcLDFTEXuR9hn8XpHtJ9wTRKRgrBtYuqvYFhQXwU6Eh1UBqgjUmNNiMyKbIhCJ3cltHwGeyTztX6jKOttPSCbw_3deH1zLbi53iGly9NVdAy3hKosU8VOrcRb88m7Gbxu_lAJUHUKkBY/s1600/teacher.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcLDFTEXuR9hn8XpHtJ9wTRKRgrBtYuqvYFhQXwU6Eh1UBqgjUmNNiMyKbIhCJ3cltHwGeyTztX6jKOttPSCbw_3deH1zLbi53iGly9NVdAy3hKosU8VOrcRb88m7Gbxu_lAJUHUKkBY/s1600/teacher.bmp" t$="true" /></a></div>God was instructing His children to become responsible for their own actions. But as an added benefit the children learned to trust God for their provision and safety. A parent wants their child to trust them in the same way. A test teaches the child that instructions do not make for restrictions but rather for freedom not to worry.<br />
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</div>A child with a smart phone will soon find himself in slavery to the very thing that once seemed so desirable. So God gave His children something much more desirable – complete freedom- but not in an image they would be accustomed to seeing. He sent them Manna. Which simply means, “What is it?” <br />
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</div>Manna was freedom from worry about physical provision. It was new and free every morning. The only labor expended was to gather it in. This is a picture of our relationship to Christ. God’s instructions were to gather every morning only what they needed. Jesus gives the explanation of the test in the gospel of John. <br />
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<div closure_uid_kqqm5="162"><em>"I am the bread of life. "Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. "This is the bread which comes down out of heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. "I am the living bread that came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread also which I will give for the life of the world is My flesh."</em> John 6:48-51 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="167"><br />
</div>The application is that parents can give their child the electronic devices they ask for but with instructions and supervision. Start small and with few features, if the child proves to be trustworthy, then increase service or features. In this way the child learns to be responsible for his own actions and will not fall into the net laid out for him by the pornographic industry. Parents recognize the net is there and their responsibility is to teach the child to avoid becoming trapped. Continue to instruct the child on responsible use of technological devices. However, to help through this process it is highly recommended that preventive apps be put on the device to help the child discern.<br />
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</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="169"><strong>3. Children trust their parents – </strong></div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="170"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="171"><em>"I have heard the grumblings of the sons of Israel; . . 'At twilight you shall eat meat , and in the morning you shall be filled with bread; and you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'</em> " Ex 16:9-12 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="172"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZkuDdI34WULiR1VPJLNnGMbWdLj8a9kSscotrRBg8vvKLjFRDjfbx2c9R-U8fvYoVih2D4xBbPNzZRcWyvOQHCUUGFRqAbj95874CBc3x5dJvrQX7y7J6kQvQVM7ykLJ9OR3tjSCVGOY/s1600/father+and+son.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZkuDdI34WULiR1VPJLNnGMbWdLj8a9kSscotrRBg8vvKLjFRDjfbx2c9R-U8fvYoVih2D4xBbPNzZRcWyvOQHCUUGFRqAbj95874CBc3x5dJvrQX7y7J6kQvQVM7ykLJ9OR3tjSCVGOY/s320/father+and+son.jpg" t$="true" width="320" /></a></div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="222">The most important act in protecting one’s child is to act like parents. You are not their friend, they have many friends, and they only have one set of parents.</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="173"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="174"><strong closure_uid_kqqm5="175">4. When children do not listen and disobey –</strong></div><br />
<div closure_uid_kqqm5="176"><em>But they did not listen to Moses, and some left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and became foul; and Moses was angry with them. They gathered it morning by morning, every man as much as he should eat; but when the sun grew hot, it would melt.</em> Ex 16:20-21 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="177"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_akfn5g="132">God saw His children needed to understand that there was no advantage ignoring the instructions. A selfish greed would be greeted with worms and even an inadvertent greed would be melted by the sun. So it is with children. If the disobedience is one of deviance where the child determines he will do what he wants regardless of the instructions then the result must be worms. This means a most disgusting and undesirable consequence. If the instructions were not followed because of ignorance then the consequences will be a loss of the excess. For example a child given internet access that does not follow instructions can have the internet access cut off but still maintain the device. A child with defiance in mind loses the device and pays a fine such as extra chores, earlier bedtime, loss of a privilege. </div><div closure_uid_akfn5g="132"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="178"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Rw-lSxVD_gfpEtNpj3HcMNnztmUSor1o8DNnHHCfeWGUZwQ1EQVANKy_vSWo13i0RyGiYXozn9eoktBcnHAoNtHTjgPjLjsaVC56Od7HtRKDleLEu7-sjG-3mBT1gYGAyUIwReSHS40/s1600/boy+tech.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Rw-lSxVD_gfpEtNpj3HcMNnztmUSor1o8DNnHHCfeWGUZwQ1EQVANKy_vSWo13i0RyGiYXozn9eoktBcnHAoNtHTjgPjLjsaVC56Od7HtRKDleLEu7-sjG-3mBT1gYGAyUIwReSHS40/s1600/boy+tech.jpg" t$="true" /></a></div><br />
</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="179"><strong>5. Children become responsible –</strong></div><br />
<div closure_uid_kqqm5="180"><em>The house of Israel named it manna , and . . . its taste was like wafers with honey. Then Moses said, "This is what the LORD has commanded, 'Let . . . it be kept throughout your generations, that they may see the bread that I fed you in the wilderness, when I brought you out of the land of Egypt.' " . . . Aaron placed it before the Ark of the Covenant, to be kept. The sons of Israel ate the manna forty years, until they came to an inhabited land; they ate the manna until they came to the border of the land of Canaan.</em> Ex 16:31-35 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_kqqm5="181"><br />
</div>God’s example shows us how to discipline children and teach them accountability so that they will become responsible. God’s provision and instruction given in love becomes more than enough, just as a parent’s provision and instruction will become more than enough. <br />
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</div>As the perfect parent God kept before His children the picture of Christ as provider, as the bread of heaven. It was God’s picture of Christ, the only true freedom in a world filled with bad things. <br />
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</div>Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-4894416597243456682011-08-01T14:01:00.000-07:002011-08-01T14:01:33.736-07:00The problem of inadvertently viewing pornography on the heart of a child<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">The physical boundaries that were once established as protection for children from pornographic material have largely been removed by technology. In the 1930’s young boys absconded with the catalog behind the barn to look at the pictures of women's underwear. Today those same images are much more bold and seductive and available at the click of a button. The inadvertent exposure to pornographic images has been the subject of congressional hearings, commercial and trade publications, and training material for children and youth workers. Each one of these recognize in one form or another that the greatest protection for young children from inadvertent pornographic images still rests within the family structure. <br />
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<tr><td closure_uid_vtgy3d="207" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDqhL7WJuPtz4a1L_BX4T3LXHwW9p9dreMIlz-PhqBhrM8vqp-w4NKTrSE0DZOm8KFmi49gJgqt7OtGA4PRSri25WWuOPrs0uKvp_hUOHZJl9vWxJwUa9MEHbyKrSgEfcQUXbpwHJE_8I/s1600/Child_and_Computer_08473.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDqhL7WJuPtz4a1L_BX4T3LXHwW9p9dreMIlz-PhqBhrM8vqp-w4NKTrSE0DZOm8KFmi49gJgqt7OtGA4PRSri25WWuOPrs0uKvp_hUOHZJl9vWxJwUa9MEHbyKrSgEfcQUXbpwHJE_8I/s200/Child_and_Computer_08473.jpg" t$="true" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" closure_uid_vtgy3d="188" style="text-align: center;"><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="225">“The evidence indicates that pornography </div><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="225">and related sexual media</div><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="224"> can influence sexual violence, </div><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="224">sexual attitudes, moral values, </div><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="224">and sexual activity </div><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="224">of children and youth.” </div><div closure_uid_vtgy3d="224"><div closure_uid_725p8x="242">(Greenfield, <em>Applied Development Psychology</em>, 2004) </div></div><br />
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<div closure_uid_vtgy3d="133"><strong>The Problem:</strong></div><br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="243">“Twenty five percent of youth had unwanted exposure to sexual pictures on the Internet in the past year, challenging the prevalent assumption that the problem is primarily about young people motivated to actively seek out pornography. Most youth had no negative reactions to their unwanted exposure, but one quarter said they were very or extremely upset, suggesting a priority need for more research on and interventions directed toward such negative effects. The use of filtering and blocking software was associated with a modest reduction in unwanted exposure, suggesting that it may help but is far from foolproof.” (<em>Youth Society</em> March 2003 vol. 34 no. 3 330-358)</div><br />
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<div closure_uid_vtgy3d="230"><div closure_uid_725p8x="240">“All youngsters are at some risk from exposure to televised pornography. At particular risk for harm, however, are the most vulnerable children in our society--children in single-parent homes, children with mental and emotional disturbances, mentally challenged children, children who have been physically and/or sexually abused, and children in dysfunctional families.” (<em>Harv Rev Psychiatry</em>. 1999 Nov-Dec ;7(4):236-40.)</div></div><br />
<div closure_uid_vtgy3d="232"><div closure_uid_725p8x="241">In Greenfield’s summation of the problem she concluded that other than technical protective means the solution rested with the parents. Her primary solution rested on the communication between parent and child. God said the same thing in Hebrews 5:9-14, “You continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them.”</div></div><br />
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<div closure_uid_vtgy3d="231"><strong>How Can Parents Protect Their Children?</strong></div><br />
<div class="separator" closure_uid_725p8x="172" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhunt-2AsuhwNH8AfRT0Y9Os2b4gLShGKfUCL9lF_7nnHTeh_NRR_Af_hpdIyggUGOEp_f0W6-HL_luH285MY3bnKKs-1TX8WrmAtrn8yCpdvOZOgp8h55HGKFJva7Pq8tsc5g1zEVi_wM/s1600/parents+teaching+child+illustration.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhunt-2AsuhwNH8AfRT0Y9Os2b4gLShGKfUCL9lF_7nnHTeh_NRR_Af_hpdIyggUGOEp_f0W6-HL_luH285MY3bnKKs-1TX8WrmAtrn8yCpdvOZOgp8h55HGKFJva7Pq8tsc5g1zEVi_wM/s200/parents+teaching+child+illustration.jpg" t$="true" width="200" /></a></div><div closure_uid_725p8x="118">The book of Leviticus gives explicit teaching material to the leaders and teachers of the Israelites, the Levite tribe, about family relations. When the rules are given, the Israelites are leaving captivity to claim the land God has given them to establish their society. God is the parent of a young child which will grow up to be the nation Israel. He is teaching them how to live a productive, peaceful and fulfilling life when they grow up. The rules are not made to be broken, they are made to protect and prosper. He is a loving Father teaching His children. </div><div closure_uid_725p8x="117"><br />
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<div closure_uid_725p8x="206">With that in mind a parent can look to the teaching methods of God in order to develop effective teaching and protective methods to their own children. The first thing He did is teach them the best way to conduct their relationships. He tells them the role of the family as He established it and then tells them how to protect that family. He gives strict warnings against aberrations in the family structure.</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="206"><br />
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</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="207"><strong>1. Rule One</strong> – Teach your children what is right and wrong and why it is right or wrong based on God’s teachings. If there is an aberrant family situation in the family structure that puts the parents into a position that does not allow for escape or change then how does God expect those parents to teach right and wrong without alienating a family member? </div><div closure_uid_725p8x="214"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="237">If an extended family unit includes one or more of the aberrations of the God-given family situation of one-man and one-woman in the bonds of marriage for a life-time then the parent must communicate with their children that this is wrong behavior. However, they do not condemn the family, for God never condemned but only expressed that which was right and which was wrong. He gave them the choice to choose, but made sure they knew which was right and wrong and the consequences of choosing wrong. (These can be found in Deuteronomy 28, recommend New Living Bible) Adapt them to current standards, for example, blessed will be your basket and kneading bowl could be translated, you will always have plenty of good food. </div><br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="238">"<em>I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants</em> , Deut 30:19 (NASB)</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="246"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="315">Teach the child that these behaviors are wrong but that the beloved family member had a choice and they chose to live in that behavior. (You may be able to point out how they are suffering the consequences as found in Deut. 28 such as inability to find or keep a job, loneliness, poor reputation, etc.) A parent must assure the child they have a choice for their own life. However, if they make wrong choices it does not mean the parent will stop loving them or desert them. This attitude can best be taught by translating it toward those family members that are making bad decisions. (In the case of homosexual partners, the child should be taught the same principles about them as he is taught about family members. A partner is regarded as one who has made a wrong decision it does not mean the child cannot love or respect the partner. However, as a parent, it would be prudent to keep a checks and balance system to prevent any wrong sexual action toward or in the presence of the child. If there is a child in the partnership, single parent or cohabitating relationship then that child is at high risk and needs to be given the security of love from a biblically balanced extended family. </div><div closure_uid_725p8x="315"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="216"><strong>2. Rule Two</strong> – Teach the child the Biblical Structure of the family and the reason why this structure is so important to you the parent and to God our parent. This concept should be reviewed many times over the course of the child's teachable years, especially between ages 3 and 6 when moral development is taking place. </div> <br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="221"><strong closure_uid_725p8x="317">What is Biblical Marriage? </strong></div><div closure_uid_725p8x="221"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnJfTWHyUGFWoD0CnWfss1Q2Pv5BMQvENJ4V1H4B1fYf77cArXdNWrefOCZH9955Ndm7vUqCn7ayPtuDmVHJ5K_37ZfgEPH1FOIbt0Buqw6d1B0JDJj1Av6yCObejuxihtHd5soQlH58M/s1600/marriage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnJfTWHyUGFWoD0CnWfss1Q2Pv5BMQvENJ4V1H4B1fYf77cArXdNWrefOCZH9955Ndm7vUqCn7ayPtuDmVHJ5K_37ZfgEPH1FOIbt0Buqw6d1B0JDJj1Av6yCObejuxihtHd5soQlH58M/s320/marriage.jpg" t$="true" width="318" /></a></div><div closure_uid_725p8x="235"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="222">The name Adam is the word for mankind rather than a man’s name. When God picked up a lump of clay and shaped it into the form of man, He did something to that lump of clay He did to none of his other creations. He formed it in His image and He breathed life into it. </div><br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="223">God had made man in His image, with all of his abilities, thoughts, emotions and spiritual awareness. But then God saw it was not good for this man to be alone. He did not pick up another lump of clay and breath into it, instead, He put Adam to sleep, opened Adam's side and pulled part of Adam from his body, The woman was already living because she had been given the breath of God at the same time. She was pulled from man, given her own body and God said, the two shall become one. Man no longer contained all of God, it took knowledge of man and woman in the bond of marriage so that humans could see the true image of God. </div><br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="224">All relationship aberrations other than one man and one woman distort the image of God and when one cannot see God, they cannot accept or believe in Him. The reason God hates the aberrations is because it blinds the eyes of children to His image and His greatest desire is for all to be one with Him. Only marriage between one man and one woman can give this true picture of unity between Christ and His bride. It is this unity of one man and one woman for a lifetime that reveals who God is to the world. </div><br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="236">"<em>The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.”</em> John 17:22-23 (NASB)</div><br />
<div closure_uid_725p8x="225">Even the child experts and political pundits recognize this problem of inadvertent viewing of pornography has to be resolved within the family structure. The attempt at tolerating all life styles and fleshly appetites has led to a loss of a standard of right and wrong and the Biblical family is viewed as outmoded or even a joke. This leaves many parents floundering for solutions to a problem they cannot begin to comprehend and yet they witness it destroying their precious children. Even regular church attenders do not understand what happened to their family. </div><div closure_uid_725p8x="225"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_725p8x="225">This calls for a return to understanding of the original right and wrong and why it was established. By going back to the foundational premise that God the Father established for His children in their young childhood, a parent can stand firm on a method of teaching and protecting without doubting themselves. The parents who know this standard and teach it through communication will be able to redirect and protect a child that inadvertently views pornographic material in whatever media it comes to them even if it is a dysfunctional family. The call back to a standard of right and wrong will also help the child to establish a proper worldview that will take them through more severe life crisis, especially during the college years.</div><br />
</div>Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-19552194469364058512010-01-18T10:10:00.000-08:002010-01-18T10:10:29.924-08:00Parenting and God's examplesParenting is the most difficult job with the most lasting consequences. When new parents hold that first baby the joy of this tiny creature is expressed with a love beyond comprehension. But somewhere along the way the parents begin to realize the responsibility. It is at that point that they may begin to think for the first time, how am I going to parent this child. <br />
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With the blank slate of his life lying in a small crib it is easy to determine his needs of warmth, food and love and all those things are so easy to give. As he toddles into the arms with giggles and smiles, the parents know they want their child to be able to walk through all of life's trails. They realize that just as they guide those first wobbly steps they must also guide the steps that will follow through childhood and adolescents. <br />
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How does one do that? In 1967 Diana Baumrind established three styles of parenting. They are authoritarian, authoriatative and permissive. The authoriatative is the one that takes the stand of "I said so." There is to be no discussion or disobedience, the authoritarian sets the rules but allows discussion and takes the need of the child into consideration. Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, may take on the role of a friend rather than a parent to their chidren. The permissive parent makes few demands of their children and rarely disciplines the child. <br />
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Since Baumrind produced this research in 1967 other studies have shown that the authoritative parenting style seems to be the most productive for later adult life. This actually comes as no surprise because it is the type of parent one sees of God in the Old Testament.<br />
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The Bible uses the model of the family to present the character of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. In the Old Testament God takes the nation Israel for His wife with the people of Israel being His children. In time to come the Son of God is born to Israel in the form of Jesus Christ and upon his ascension into heaven God the Holy Spirit then dwells within each heart of His children and He becomes a personal God and Father. <br />
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Thus it is no surprise to see God establish the rules to a toddling childlike nation in the books of Deuteronomy, Leviticus, Joshua and Judges. Then when the nation reaches her preteen years, God sends the prophets to tell of the consequences of poor choices and how to make wise choices. Then as the teenager becomes rebellious there is the fruition of the parenting style in the relationship between God and the Teenager as seen in the Babylonian captivity. It is in the New Testament when Jesus speaks in His sermon on the mount that the young adult is seen. It is then they are able to disgest a discussion of the rules along with the benefits of obedience. Jesus uses the phrase "You have heard it said," referring to the rules. Then He adds explanation and clarification. "But I say to you." <br />
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During Jesus ministry He walks with the young adults and helps them to mature. After Jesus is gone He sends the Holy Spirit to be the teacher to the individual (I John 2:27) He also sends ministers in the form of Peter and Paul and the church is established to be the educational institution to continue to teach of God's character as a loving but firm parent. This is the stage of life that God's children currently reside, as students. Some are in elementary while others are working on a doctorate but all are students of the church.<br />
<br />
In time those of God's family will come home and enjoy life as it was always meant to be lived, in perfect peace with Him.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-1989135260864934742010-01-02T15:57:00.000-08:002010-01-02T15:57:57.298-08:00Its been a long long timeTime.<br />
It is the element that both contains and makes up life.<br />
We have too much of it on our hands,<br />
we don't have enough to complete our tasks<br />
We all have the same amount.<br />
<br />
It keeps marching on whether we are completing the task or enjoying the moment<br />
It never stops and never cares about what it does to figures and beauty<br />
It doesn't change even though all of its components do<br />
<br />
The field is now a shopping strip<br />
The once favored store is now a pawn shop<br />
The most elegant resturant in town is now a canvas of grafitti<br />
Time birthed them and passed them<br />
<br />
Time is but a moment<br />
or time is an eternity<br />
Time is our friend and <br />
time is our enemy<br />
<br />
Time <br />
Where did it go?<br />
What did I do with it?<br />
Where are all the accomplishments?<br />
Where are all the plans?<br />
<br />
How fearful to be at the beginning of time<br />
How sad to be at the end of time<br />
<br />
Yet time cannot change, reduce or diminish <br />
Love.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-27100144951323439642009-09-03T09:00:00.000-07:002009-09-03T09:12:47.632-07:00AnniversaryIt is just another work day but not exactly. It is our anniversary, a time to celebrate the events of years past. But there are so many to ponder upon. The problem and the blessing of long life together is the accumulation of stuff and memories.<br /><br />Much of the stuff is worthless or belongs to one of the now adult children who needed storage space. On the other hand much of the stuff is the catalyst for the memory. The scent of a leather cowboy outfit size 3, the desk where many crayon drawings of young children were created, the forgotten motorcycle that sang for hours and the honors and school annuals. But these are the memories of children. There are other deeper memories.<br /><br />There are the flowers that came after the fight. The discussion about the flowers - not needed! Just come home and resolve the conflict. The houses that bore the scars of life and time. The furniture that still holds the stains of accidents and the discarded or worn out things that once seemed so desirable to have.<br /><br />Through it all one thing has grown more lustrious with time and that is the depth of love we feel for each other. It comes not from things or actions but from endurance. Love grows in the trenches of trouble and sorrow. Love returns each time it is given except in a greater number. It is the love that is celebrated this day as we remember the frantic day of our wedding. But today is not frantic. Rather we sit together holding hands, listening to the quiet and wondering where all the years went, but grateful that during all those trials, celebrations and memories there was one constant, each other.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-54331439818155217412009-09-03T08:46:00.000-07:002009-09-03T08:51:07.727-07:00Three weeks after my second marriage the third child of my four stepchildren stood by the dryer were I was doing my continual duty of laundry and said, "You don't love me like you do Alyssa."<br /><br />The comment came from nowhere with no provocation or reason. I knew that this moment might come but I did not expect it so soon nor did I think it would be so out of context. I expected it to arrive at a time when there were troubled children in our blended family. A time when jealousy and discord would reign. Not here in the laundry room with one child who simply stated a fact and wanted to discuss it.<br /><br />Many things plundered through my mind in those short few minutes before I responded. My first thought was simply how do I respond to such a comment and does he really want a response? I continued my chore of separating clothes and said, "What makes you say that?" He didn't stutter or miss a beat but rather began to relate incidences from his viewpoint which he had deemed to show favor to the other child. Of course he could not relate to the fact that he was 9 and she was 4 therefore, there would be differences in the relationship. One incidence that he cited was that I didn't hold him in my lap as much as I did the younger. Of course he couldn't see that she weighed a measly 22 pounds while he topped the scale at well over 80 pounds, plus the difference in height.<br /><br />I turned my back and let a little smile creep across my face at this revelation of brewing jealousy. I nodded and let him continue with other events that were just as easily explainable, but somehow I knew that any explanation would fall on deaf ears. His heart was not for an explanation of the events, he really wanted to know if I loved him at all. He wanted to know his place in this new family.<br /><br />But then again, if I declared that I did love him, it would sound empty and hollow because we had only been a family for three weeks and everyone's world had been turned upside down in that three weeks. All eight members of this new family were feeling the pinch of a crowded house, extra chores, and the trial of separation of two's. When two complete households blend there is an excess of things that should only be possessed in one's. Things like ironing boards, mixers, washing machines, etc. But then there is the excess that is needed, the extra towels, but then there is the problem of where to put them. Each solution seemed to bring a new problem.<br /><br />Other problems arose as I attempted to make this house which had once been occupied by the first wife, my home. I would open a drawer and find pictures of his first family smiling as they appeared to be the perfect family. I once opened a drawer and found a love letter from my husband to his ex-wife. I felt like an intruder. I had enough problems of my own without having to verify this child's value by my love. I was hanging on by a thread myself. I frequently asked myself what had I done to my children and this family. Of course, I reminded myself that the family unit had been severed before my entrance into their lives. It was the blending of the two families that caused me to pause in thought and feel the edge of depression.<br /><br />My love for my own child had flowed from the day she had been born, but this child came to me with many problems and he was not cute or loveable, he was a boy with all the things that accompany nine year old boys, things like dirt, tricks and his constant picking at the two younger children, especially Alyssa.<br /><br />Now he was asking me to declare that I loved him as much as I did my own daughter. Well that would simply be a lie. I cared for him, but I don't know that I had grown to love him at that point. He was someone else's child to love, I had become his caretaker not his mother, but at the same time I had not abandoned my role of mother to my own daughter.<br /><br />I pondered as long as I dared until he finally said, "you don't do you?"<br />In a short blast of wisdom that could only have come supernaturally from God, I stopped, looked at him and in a kind and patient voice I said, "Do you love me as much as you do your mother?"<br /><br />He looked shocked and surprised. He ducked his head as he pondered the question. Then he answered with a broad smile on his face. "No, I don't." Then he hugged me and walked away, content. The question never came up again.<br /><br />In time it didn't need to come up because we both grew to love each other and it didn't need to be spoken; it was understood.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-22604997813357775822009-06-09T14:29:00.000-07:002009-06-09T15:00:05.605-07:00Acceptance and ExclusionIt may be one's style, physique, name, race, religion, bank account or location. In some way most everyone will find acceptance in one group or another. Nonetheless, that acceptance is based upon some external factor in one's life. As a result when the external factor is removed the acceptance may go with it. Acceptance can be a fleeting condition. What happens when that acceptance is gone?<br /><br />For most, there will be another external factor that cannot be changed that will give one a permanent acceptance in a certain group, things such as age, race or national heritage. However, this is not always the case. The group to which one belongs may not be an acceptable group in the group one wants to be in. That is a long sentence to say, we don't always get what we want. <br /><br />The one thing all humans need and want in one form or another is some form of acceptance or love. It is love that gives one's life value and meaning, it is love that makes one desire to get up in the morning, it is love that makes one endure through the hard times, it is love both the giving and the receiving that is the desired result of acceptance. Therefore, acceptance due to an external factor is not love but merely temporary acceptance. <br /><br />Acceptance even in the short term is desirable over exclusion. <br /><br />The event that leads me to write this is a small thing that will disappear in a few days but it has opened my eyes to the devastating effects of being excluded for one reason or another. That little thing is a child's disease contracted from an unknown source and no apparant sources seen. It is a little disease that manifests itself in blisters on my hands. It is a disease that is highly contagious, especially to children. But because it is on my hands I am limited in my activities. The little blisters hurt so that limits my activity, but if the blisters run then I become contagious to others. No one wants this little disease so I am now excluded from my everyday life. People are kind, but even my own family does not want to touch me or have me prepare their meals. I am an outcast. I made a joke that I felt like a leper, but in fact it is not really a joke at all but rather a revelation about being excluded. <br /><br />To be excluded means that there is no redemption to reconnect to the group. There is no method of cleaning oneself to be acceptable. There is frustration, loneliness and despair. I will be better in a few days and life will return to normal. But for right now I am quaranteed, mostly by my own choice, but also by others when they learn of my little temporary disease.<br /><br />Nothing in life should be wasted and neither should this experience. I should learn about being excluded. I have never experienced total exclusion for I have always been loved and loved, even as I am now. Still my loved ones shun me for their own protection. I now know how significant a thing it was when Jesus touched the leper. I understand the child who has no friends at school. I understand the lonely old woman living alone and growing closer to death. I understand the single parent for whom there is no help, I understand. . . could go on and on. It is that understanding of exclusion that makes me say, "I have a Savior." Only in Him is there perfect love no matter what my filthy condition and only in Him is there redemption from my malady, even if I do not experience a cure, I do experience acceptance in His love.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-52381695826653683412009-05-21T15:15:00.000-07:002009-05-21T15:30:12.082-07:00We are tiredThe flames licked the air with their delicate dance moves atop a bed of vibrating moves all consuming all that came into contact. The fascination with the campfire seemed obvious as I stared into it long into the dark night. Why? What is the fascination with a simple little campfire? A fire started for the purpose of burning dead twigs and branches left lying in the yard from winter's blast. Yet, that fire held my attention and as I gazed into it there was no thought or wisdom flowing from my head, only the comfort of he warmth provided by the fire and my loved one sitting next to me. No words were spoken, no actions taken we just rested in the cool of the evening by the fire.<br /><br />It wasn't the fire that was fascinating it was the rest that was needed. We were tired. The undulating coals and dancing flames provided a restful hypnosis for us. We sipped a cup of cocoa and watched. <br /><br />It was the end of the school year, he had finished closing the books and storing the teaching tools, I had finished classes. The deadlines had been met and passed, the work complete. The stress relieved. We were tired. <br /><br />As night fell the symphonie of the night music began with the crickets, the owls, the frogs and occasionally the dogs. We listened to the music of the quiet. The time passed by and still we sat gazing into the fire, occasionally adding another stick or log. We were tired.<br /><br />We've grown old and don't remember when we did. It's the body that grows old, the mind grows young. It learns and incorporates its knowledge, it grows better, the body grows weaker. Our minds needed to see, our bodies needed to rest, we were tired.<br /><br />The sounds of children long has past, but the duty of work continues on and neither of these things would we change. It is the quiet of being together without words or deeds but basking in the presence of the other that comforts and warms. It is the knowledge that although we are no longer young firm and beautiful we are more in love today than yesterday. This time by the fire is not just sitting and staring, it is foreplay for the moment we lean into each other and say, "I love you." It is the moment that we look at each other and smile becasue we know we are no longer tired.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-28298532351218415102009-02-21T19:03:00.000-08:002009-02-21T19:17:15.431-08:00self destructionI reached into the cabinet for a coffee cup and set it down on the counter by the coffee pot. Then I reached behind the door and slammed it shut with my face in the way. Needless to say the knot that arose was as big as the popping sound it made.<br /><br />Why did I hit myself in the face I wondered? I have completed this action every morning for years and never hit myself. But this particular morning, I simply was not paying attention. Therefore, I hurt myself.<br /><br />We often hurt ourselves in the effort to complete a simple task but the hurt may become deep and painful, but because we did it to ourselves we do not let anyone know about the hurt. <br /><br />For example, let's say sex is a car. At age 16 all people get a car and a gift wrapped key. The car is their dream car, it is the right color, the right style and everything it should be. The key is wrapped in a beautiful box. But there is a group of people that tell you don't open the box and put the car in the garage, you can't open it until you have married. That seems really dumb.<br /><br />A few will follow the instructions but most want because they are told it is stupid to wait, they have the car they might as well enjoy it. So they open the box and they see the key, bright and shiny. They take it out to the car but the car won't start. It just sets there. So they take the key and carry it in their pocket and show it to everyone else and they look at everyone elses keys. Occasionally, they take the keys and scratch the car, it doesn't do much anyway. They put graffitii on it or simply key it. <br /><br />A few years later, one of those nerdy stupid people who put their car in the garage and saved it for marriage drives by and the car is more beautiful than ever. The few look at their car and wonder what happened, it is rusted and bent and ugly. They take the key and try it once more, this time the car starts, but the motor misses a little and the tires have knots on them because of the abuse of the car. <br /><br />The one who took sex out before marriage finds they have a few abortions behind them or a child and a poor paying job, they couldn't finish school because they had to take car of that rusty old car. They look at the one in the car with them and they are as rusty and old as as the car. <br /><br />Sex is like that car, it is the greatest gift God gives mankind. But he put instructions with the gift, not to deny one the priviledge of the gift but so that they reap the most benefits from the gift. For the one who put the car in the garage and saved it for that special one, their car will always be shiny and new and will give them pleasure all the days of their life. For the others who felt that was stupid may have spent their car up by the time they were 17. There is not another car. This is the only one that is given.<br /><br />Why do we self-destruct? Because we believe the lies of the others who messed up their cars instead of following the instructions of the one who gave the gift. We self-destruct because it seems so routine and so lame to keep the car in the garage, when it is now that you have the looks and the drive to go somewhere, but those who self-destruct, didn't go anywhere, they still have the shabby old car they keyed and abused. They will have it till they die. <br /><br />Pay attention to what you do and don't slam the cabinet door on your face simply because the world tells you to. Take the gift and thank the giver and then follow His instructions. It will be the most fulfilling gift you will ever receive and the best part is that it will last the rest of your life without any bumps on the car. It will always be bright and shiny and new, even when you aren't.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5645153370690810173.post-2444361713951984022009-02-18T10:09:00.000-08:002009-02-18T10:38:17.830-08:00IntroductionI begin by introducing myself. I have chosen the name for this blog as "choose the good part." That comes from the story in the Bible about two sisters, Mary and Martha. Martha is busy making dinner and preparations but her sister Mary is sitting at Jesus feet listening to Him teach. Martha complains to Jesus that Mary is not helping her, but Jesus responds by saying, "Mary, has chosen the good part." <br /><br />I love hospitality and having people in my home, I love the fru fru of a sit down dinner party. I love the planning and the preparation. But I also love to study the Bible and hear the words of the Lord , they truly are words of life. <br /><br />Now as I sit at his feet and do not fret over the cobwebs in the corner, I find a peace and an insatiable hunger. It seems that Jesus is saying that homemaking and caring for one's guests and family is not important but that is not the case at all. He is telling Martha that there are times the necessary things of life can be put aside for a while while we stop and be still and listen. He is saying that digesting His words and taking Him into our hearts is the good part of life. <br /><br />That is what this blog will be about. The Words of our Lord, served up at a sit-down informal dinner party where my guests can enjoy the food I prepare and learn from the Words of God that I share. I am not a theologian but I am a counselor, I may not know all the theories, but I know the author. I may not express myself in theological terminology, but I will express my interpretation in the context of the whole counsel of God. I love serving the Words of God to my guests and allowing them to choose the good part.<br /><br />I start and write this blog because I am a writer. I have written many journals, but my typing is much better than my penmanship. I write this mostly for my family both physical and spiritual. I do not write to impart any wise words of prophetic wisdom, but I write to reveal my heart and the things that Jesus reveals to me. <br /><br />Life is short but has many opportunities and as we develop through each age we find new and more exciting opportuntines, now at the age of 60 I find the opportunity to partake of the good part. I have the time and the desire. In this blog I want to share the good things I ingest with those who do not have the time to research or sit quietly at the feet of the Master and listen to His words. <br /><br />I hope to impart foundational knowledge gained from sitting at his feet, not opinionated dribble and with the graciousness of Martha, the hostess.Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436940063082680181noreply@blogger.com0